Once upon a time, I had to write my biography as an essay for entrance into a program. I had thought my days of writing essays were long since behind me, and I’d never written a biography. I had no idea where to start or what to do.

I don’t know where this entry was back then, but if I had read it, I probably would have been even more intimidated.

“The point of the biographical essay is to reveal who that person was and what contribution they have made to the world.”
(reference: https://www.essaytigers.com/how-write-biography-essay)

Sidenote: Please, don’t ever ask me what contribution I’ve made to the world. Talk about things that keep you up at night…

Life Timeline

So back to my essay. I was nearly 40 when I was asked to write this essay. As I said, I didn’t know where to start, but I figured I better get to it, so I started by making a timeline of my life to see if anything jumped out. I also did some brainstorming about what I wanted people to know about me when they were done reading it. The program was a leadership program, so I figured it made sense to key in on my leadership experience to date.

Have you ever made a timeline of your life? I have done this many times, for random reasons like this essay. EVERY time I make the timeline, different things show up. Every time I’ve made the timeline I was approaching it for a specific reason, to answer a specific question.

When you turn that filter on it’s always amazing to me what you can see. Things that have been there all along stand out. Things that you may have never noticed before become obvious.

I see people trying to answer the big, deep questions…

What’s my purpose?
What are my values?
What contribution have I or will I make to the world?
What’s my legacy? What should I (whether you’re 8, 18, or 48) be when I grow up?

They’ll take career assessments, personality assessments, read books (anyone read “What color is your parachute”?), journal, have conversations and who knows what else.

One thing I never hear people talking about is looking back on their own life to see what brought them here. They don’t ever talk about reflecting on what made them who they are…

It’s not easy, don’t get me wrong, but it doesn’t require anything else – no survey, no coach, no journal prompts, or a library shelf full of books. It just takes you and your memory. Record it however works best for you. Me, I have this dream of making a visual timeline – a special infographic that shows my life – like one of those cool amusement park maps. (yeah, this hasn’t happened yet, but someday perhaps)

Reflection

Let’s just talk about this for a second. I think people struggle with inner reflection. When you stop and look at things it brings up so many memories. Good memories yes, but often bad ones too. It can be easier to just keep plugging along. But I’m here to tell you it’s worth it. In the end, the gift you give yourself is priceless. There’s nothing quite like the quiet knowledge of who you are, of what’s important to you, your unique story. It brings you the confidence you can draw on when you find yourself on an adventure unsure of the next step. It gives you a solid foundation to build from.

For my biography, I made a timeline, and I pulled out the things that had made me who these people knew. I uncovered examples of what was important to me and was able to find stories that showed how or why. I found the words to describe myself the way a beloved teacher or mentor might have – you know the kind of person that believes in you and encourages you and sees things in you that you didn’t even realize were there. It’s an incredible act of self-compassion or self-care to write this biography of yourself as a love letter to yourself and for those who love you.

It’s time for Credit

We don’t get enough credit for the things we do – the great, legacy building things, or the quiet basic needs things, it doesn’t matter. Human beings are amazing, and we do so much, in a day, a month, or a lifetime. It’s worth looking back over it once in a while.

Claim it.

Own it.

Celebrate it.

What I have seen

It’s been a while, nearly ten years, since I did this. The more things change, the more they stay the same. I did a timeline exercise in the last month or so. I didn’t go to the point of writing another essay bio, but I did do some reflection and write some things down. As I’ve been talking this through with my coach, it’s been exciting to see what comes up. Now, as I reread that essay bio from so many years ago, I am surprised to see how consistent I have been. The projects and activities have changed. The outcomes and results are different. But the core pieces of what makes me tick have not changed – and knowing what they are, I have been able to make decisions that allow me to spend more time in the sweet spots. In full transparency, I want to share a little from my reflections so you can see what the process looks like.

Then

I find the most satisfaction when I know I have helped someone have a better day
I can honestly say that I still am not sure what I want to be when I grow up
I pride myself … on being the kind of person that people appreciate and respect because they are certain they can rely on me
My life tends not to be shaped by singular events… these events are characterized by the consistent way in which I respond. If anything, more can be learned about me by evaluating the patterns in my life.
Not a day goes by that I don’t read something. I have no preference on genre, I just want to broaden my horizons in ways that I cannot in my own daily life.
Nature brings me continuous joy and is the place I turn in times of stress.
While I am content creating anything… I think my creativity is about releasing the ideas I’ve formed, the patterns I’ve seen, and the things that have touched me so that I can share them with others.
While I have no specialty I’ve studied, no degree to provide initials after my name, nor a strong passion that makes it easy for someone to label me, my ability to be flexible, to do the best no matter what I am doing, and to make other people’s lives easier with my help is what has gotten me from where I was to where I am. The things that influence me – the balance of nature, the rhythm of music, creativity, the ideas of others – provide the core of who I am and using those things I can see patterns in situations, from those patterns I see ways to help, and when I help, I am doing the best work of my life.

Now

The spark of life that supports the belief that great things are possible. As a value, it’s important for me to share this as part of my vibe. I want there to be an aura of hope around me and to inspire that in all people.
Creativity – Using all the tools and resources available to you to accomplish a goal, task, or objective.
Doing what you say you’re going to do when you say you’re going to do it. And if you fail or make a mistake, own up to it without throwing other people under the bus.
Doing all things with a loving-kindness, this applies to all people, animals, places, and things.
Embracing challenge and adversity on the path to success, but more than that, it’s the spirit and approach to how you handle anything that happens in life, from the good to the bad and the ugly. If you approach things with a spirit of adventure, even if it’s not easy, even if it sucks, you can see that there’s going to be good on the other side of whatever you’re doing.
Feeding the mind AND the soul, with new information, in any way possible. This could look traditional, like education, but more often it’s in the stolen conversations when you learn something you’d never imagined, or trying something new, or doing a deep dive into something that fascinates you and keeps you curious and alive.

The words may be a little different – but the ideas, at their core, remain the same. As I have matured, so has my ability to articulate what drives me. Having this to see that I am living my life aligned with the things that mean the most to me, that will allow me to bring my gifts to the world, it makes me happy. It grounds me. I want this for you too.

So here’s what I want you to do…

Your Own Lifeline Activity

Brainstorm about what you want people to know about you (or what you want to know)
Make a timeline of your life, record it however works best for you.
1. Include anything that feels significant to you, right now, with this lens you’re looking through
Write this as a love letter to yourself – you deserve it
Give yourself credit for the things you do (great and small) – Claim it. Own it. Celebrate it.
Save this so you’ll have it to look back on
Share with me – what’s one thing you were surprised to see from his exercise?

Do you take any time to reflect? When was the last time you gave yourself credit for all the things you do? What are your favorite exercises to draw out answers to the deep questions? I hope you’ll take a few minutes for yourself this week and at the very least write yourself a love note as an act of self-care.

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